“Hi there Joe Consumer. How would you like to own a pair of these shoes – they never get dirty, are marginally comfortable, and because they are so ugly, they match everything in your wardrobe!”

Plus they smell like rubber.

Crocs only pass one of my man tests for shoes, that is, they do come in black. Clearly the holes will allow copious amounts of blood into the foot cavity (thus failing the second test). The shoes themselves are not very sturdy – kicking someone in the head with these things won’t cause major damage, in fact, it’s more likely that you’ll turn your own ankle over. How embarrassing is that? I mean, imagine that you’re in the middle of a street brawl and you knock your opponent down. After lining him up for a knock-out stomp, you kick and find yourself sprawled out on the ground rolling in agony. The thuggish brute will probably giggle as he straightens his hair and stomps your guts out with his pair of Timberlands.

Is that how you want to go out? Man up. Get a real pair of shoes.

I guess since Velcro shoes come in adult sizes that I shouldn’t be surprised that these are popular…

Rating: 1 / 5